Life, the universe, and little ones

livewithyourheadintheclouds: Hi everyone! It’s great to see...

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 14:43:15 -0400

Hi everyone! It’s great to see you! In this video I introduce myself and let you know what this blog is all about!

Teacher Suicides (why am I not surprised)

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 06:35:53 -0400

Teacher Suicides (why am I not surprised):

Someone has to fight these conditions. I’ve been told by many teachers that they came home every night and cried their first year as a teacher. This is horrible.

not cutting it

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:33:35 -0400

Every day I find myself a little bit less inspired in the classroom…

then I do some last minute lesson planning in my head…

clean my room

create some worksheets….

and reinspire myself. Re-INSPIRED!

The past year in a nutshell

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 06:00:03 -0400

So I’m back to this blog again after a year of teaching as a head teacher…there have been so many ups and downs this year (mostly downs) and I find myself at a new point in my journey: I am highly considering leaving the classroom for good.

Here’s why:

this year I had to deal with an emotionally abusive coworker who verbally abused me in front of children
this year I had to deal with an administration that didn’t understand how to support teacher teams effectively (though I did have a very positive supervisor)
this year I had, by everyone’s standards, the most difficult class in the school where over 1/3 of my class had diagnosed special needs
this year I had some wake up calls with parents who questioned my ability to teach and spread rumors about me behind my back, mean girl’s style.

And, for some reason, (sarcasm implied greatly) I wasn’t able to handle the stress of that and it started affecting my work and my ability to even see myself teaching in the future. I had too much work, too little time to do it in, too little help and I was hurt. But at least there was the possibility that things were going to get better. And if they didn’t they would in the future.

and then they decided not to ask me back for next year

As a first year teacher who struggled to the best of her ability this was possibly the lowest blow I could have received. I was crushed. Of course I had made mistakes, and certainly I am not proud of everything that happened this year, but surely when you have stacked the odds so far against someone’s favor, you have to give them a second chance. I was heartbroken (as I was at the beginning of this blog).

Then I went to a panel event about “What to Do with Your Masters in Education,” and it made me rethink my decision to eject myself from the classroom.

Bank Street College is an amazing support system of teachers and other professionals. The panel they had assembled was a group of speakers from all walks of life who were there to describe their own teaching paths.

The message was resilience. And it resonated. The first speaker mentioned that in her first year in teaching she went home and cried every single day. Then the second year she just cried on the weekends. But somehow she persevered. Now she runs an amazing school in upstate New York and uses her experiences to fuel her drive as a director.

The next speaker talked about how we have to teach our students resilience in the face of all that comes to them in the world, the power to take a mistake and learn and grow, but not to be beaten by it. She, as it turned out, is a producer at Sesame Street, and although her classroom teaching career was brief, she used her Bank Street Education to make a huge difference in the world.

After the panel, I talked to the head of the Alumni Committee who was in charge of the event and I told him he should have a panel that was about what to do when you don’t want to be in the classroom anymore and have a special education degree (I probably didn’t say it that bluntly, but he figured it out anyhow) and he said to me, “Don’t give up.” I explained my situation.

“Don’t give up.” He reminded me that it was only my first year. All first year teachers have it tough. All first year teachers in ANY situation have it tough. I owe it to myself to give myself another chance in a place that is the right fit.

It certainly gives me a lot to think about. I left even more confused about my situation. But also feeling like I have a way to get through this year:

I can be resilient and this is not the end of my career. I can succeed somewhere and I have the power within me to do so.
maybe all I need is a second chance

Anxiety...

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 21:15:09 -0500

So do you have to ask for that promotion interview? (random anxious question my brain keeps askin’)

Sigh. I’m hoping for a “promotion” of sorts. I went to my boss said that I’m interested in one of the maternity leave positions. She seemed happy and told me that I’m on the “top of the list.” She also told me that there’s really only one position open since she’s already pretty sure who will be filling in for the head teacher spot that’s opening up. Which leaves the assistant position in the room I work in the most.

Yesterday I met a woman who was interviewing for one of the two positions. My first thought (*my “fist” thought would have been my “freudian typo” thought*) was that “she’s interviewing for my job. She seemed like a nice lady and we sat down and talked for a minute. But now every day seems like a job interview. The good thing is, they know me and they’re positive about my work. I just have to treat each day as the chance to show them who I am to the best of my ability.

Oh yeah and don’t sweat the small stuff!

The rough days aren't so rough anymore.

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:18:48 -0400

The transition between lunch and nap time was less than smooth. There is something in the drinking water today that makes the kids “something something” (to quote homer Simpson ). Maybe it’s because both of their actual teachers are out today….

“wheee it’s time to walk all over the substitute” is what they must be thinking.

Surprisingly these days get to ms less than they used to. Pick your battles, don’t get upset and dont take it personally.

At least the Café au lair is taking the edge off :-)

Change

Sat, 02 Oct 2010 17:40:51 -0400

as a teacher I believe in the possibility of change. I have to

As children grow they are shaped into the people that they will be, and now that I’m working with older children with special needs, I need to believe in their power to grow and change. They are at the point in their lives where they’ve already developed a world view and a way of being, and sometimes that way is not conductive to their well-being.

I’m currently working with a girl who keeps pushing me away and has a low frustration tolerance for when things don’t go her way. She is verbally abusive to the other kids and has a hard time even being around other people. She’s in our program for all those reasons.

Keeping all my reactions aside, and realizing that being social is a huge, scary, struggle for her, I have to believe that, given the right support system, she can start to open up to the world around her. Hell yeah it’s scary. Is it worth it? Hell yeah.

We are always changing. That’s a great thing about being human.

what went well today: Day 1

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:33:42 -0400

Quick, Jeni! What happened today that was really good~?!

-I had a great time dancing around with the kids and singing! vocal warm ups were great and I was a great alien

-I was on the ball getting snack and helping everyone out

-I had a smile on my face! (for most of the day anyhow)

-Reading the story was great. I got a chance to perform and read a story even though i didn’t choose it. It was engaging and the kids seemed to get a lot out of it.

-Becca gave me some positive feedback and said I had a really great walk.

-I got to interact with the kids more and get to know what they like and what their styles are. I met one girl who really needs some social help, and now comes the time to figure out how we can help her!

lights camera action---- ENERGY!?!?!??!!!!

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:23:24 -0400

As a teacher energy level has always been an issue for me. Today was no different. There was a point in the day in which I literally felt my brain turn off. I felt exactly I was like one of the kids I teach: even I had slow processing today.

As a student teacher I created my ENERGY ACTION PLAN EXTRAORDINAIRE!

which involves: a good night’s sleep, breakfast, coffee, getting prepped…

but all of this was for going to school in the morning…it’s a little hard to have breakfast in the afternoon.

I think right now it’s just a matter of planning for a long evening. Not that today was bad, but I need to get out of these old patterns and habits!

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:27:41 -0400

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

- from a mass email my dad sent me. Not sure who said it first, but it’s true enough :D

Elmo

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 10:03:35 -0400

So I got the chance to actually meet Elmo today. That’s right! Elmo, the adorable little red puppet from sesame street. There were only three children, their parents and myself who were willing to brave the morning downpour. We waited about 20 minutes outside the Wendy williams show building before they let us inside

I did this totally spur of the moment and therefore got no pictures of my own. However after Kevin Clash maneuvered me into the correct position for taking an “Elmo shot” the professional photographer took a picture of me which turned out pretty great. (though it kind of looked like I had Elmo in a choke hold.)

The best part of meeting elmo was seeing how the children reacted to him. Kevin told a parent directly to pick up her son because he could tell he was scared. Another girl was braver and went right for the rods the puppeteer uses to move Elmo to which Elmo playfully told her “no you can’t have that!” she loved Elmo and wouldn’t stop giving him kisses.

It’s amazing to think how long Elmo has been a part of children’s lives. I grew up with him, and while he wasn’t my favorite muppet (that honor goes to Oscar the grouch) he still had an impact on me as a child. Congrats Elmo and the rest of sesame street for your 41st season!

I love you.

Fri, 24 Sep 2010 12:17:00 -0400

On Wednesday I ended up leaving somewhat early. The teacher I was working with is like a house mommy and she told me to go take care of myself since I was feeling sick. As I left and said goodbye one of the kids, I couldn’t tell who it was since I was almost out the door, but

He said

I love you.

Yelled it so I could hear it…

I almost cried. This is why I teach. And I really do love you guys back.

Early morning wake up

Tue, 21 Sep 2010 07:06:14 -0400

Being a substitute teacher is like being the doctor on call at a hospital. Gotta keep the schedule open! I never expected this school would need me so much! Carol called me at 6:30 this morning asking if I could come in. So that means I’m going in today for the third day! In a row!

I need to take a trip to the doctor this afternoon and I have another appointment , but they’re really appreciative and flexible.

I have a hard time saying no to them :-)

Self-affirming

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 15:50:29 -0400

Today my boss carol said that the other teachers who I’ve been working with as a sub had nothing but positive feedback for me. When I’m down on myself wondering if I could ever possibly do something right for a change… I’ll know that yes, I can. I have to keep collecting these moments, like shells, and save them for the sad rainy days and worry-filled mornings.

Yes, yes I can.

Another day of subbing and another long lunch break I have no idea what to do with. Seriously guys,...

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 12:44:04 -0400

Another day of subbing and another long lunch break I have no idea what to do with. Seriously guys, any suggestions? I’m down in the village and there has to be something (other than porn shops…)

The world works in mysterious ways

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 20:15:39 -0400

So no job at the co-op school has led to more time to substitute. It’s lower pay, but less stress and no outside prep which is lovely. Plus I’m working with teachers who are more on my level and really appreciate me.

This is something good

Won’t you spare me over just another year? This song has...

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 22:35:00 -0400

Won’t you spare me over just another year?

This song has been in my head all day since we watched the Two Minutes to Midnight episode on Supernatural. Luckily they made it available for download. Thought I’d share it with you.

jesshodge: Thanks for a good party ! Thanks to Jess for...

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 21:56:01 -0400

jesshodge:

Thanks for a good party !

Thanks to Jess for making my dorky look cool!

Even celebrities send their kids to school

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:23:18 -0400

Saw Gail Simmons, a judge from Top Chef and an editor at Food and Wine Magazine (cuz if you didn’t know now you do) at the school today. I think she was either touring or just visiting, but in any case she has a beautiful baby!

Lunch

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:56:49 -0400

I’m so used to taking a 25 minute lunch from when I student taught at Rebecca school, so I’m at a loss for what to do with an hour. Any suggestions?